New Prez, New Motivation, New year!

Dear Friends and Family!

Happy New Year / (Belated) Holidays / New Chapter in US history! 2009 is already quite the year, hey? I meant to get all of this out earlier, but better late than never!

My school cruelly made finals after the Christmas holidays so after coming back to the NL after a wonderful couple of weeks home, I was in super study mode (playing catch up for the first term). After a little less than a week of waking up at 5-7 am and studying for 10-14 hours straight I felt pretty confident after my exams! I wasn't sure if I still had it, but I think after that I am officially back in the academic groove.

My trip home was so wonderful. I only wish it could have been longer and I could have seen more of you all! I did manage to make it up to Vancouver, BC to see Becky and Leighton (sis and bro-in-law). Our family celebrated a deliiiicious Christmas dinner complete with turkey, stuffing, yams, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and my favorite- cranberry sauce shaped like a can. That's the kind of stuff you just can't find over here haha! So yummy!! We were also blessed with masssssive amounts of snow there and in Washington... A white Christmas, finally! :)

The rest of the break I pretty much relaxed, reflected, and really loved catching up with my family! I saw some good friends too in Gig Harbor, Seattle, and Portland which was fantastic :).

I headed back to the Netherlands just in time for New Years Eve, which I celebrated in the streets of Amsterdam. Electronic music was pumping, there were giant screens showing the count-down, thousands of crazy people were dancing on the streets, sidewalks, (pretty much anywhere you can find a place to stand or climb!), fireworks were blasting from people on the ground and way up in the air... truly unforgettable! Holland really does NYE justice! :)

After my insane week of studying and finals, to celebrate the hard work and take advantage of the few days off, my friend Elrich and I went to Dublin for the 2nd weekend in January. It was SO exciting to finally be back on the green isle! On my first trip there was when I was 16, and of all the European countries visited in the trip, I think Ireland was my favorite! We stayed with a friend in Dublin and did the city thing, saw Trinity college/book of kells/the Dublin castle/ Temple Bar area/ Stephen's Green park / Grafton street shopping / Delicious Pub food and Guinness of course! Good times!

We also went to Howth, a little village on the Eastern coast. That was probably my highlight. There was this ancient church ruin from ~1000ad, some amazing sights of these green islands and the village built upon the green hillside. We walked through twisty tiny streets to find food, and drank Guiness the way it was meant to be drunk- in Ireland itself, in a tiny local pub! So great!!! I kept my eyes peeled for leprechauns the whole time... I didn't explicitly see any per se, but I did see a rainbow on my way to the airport the last day! Perfect! That pot of gold was nearly in sight ;)

Now I'm back in the Hague, doing the student thing again. I must say I have a new sense of motivation in the new year. I am taking classes I really love, I have an idea of my what I want to do my thesis on, and am just soaking up being able to interact with profs and students who are really informed/influential in the Development Field. I am feeling great about my decision to go here.

My classes this term are on the Economics of Globalization, Discourse Analysis, and Labour Rights Governance/Global Value Chains. The last class I particularly enjoy because that I decided is the area I wish to write my thesis on. I am thinking of orienting my research around the idea of greater/more cohesive governance for Corporate Social Responsibility... trying to work with existing international and national frameworks to use businesses to promote welfare. I am not sure how I will narrow it all down yet, but it feels great to have a basic idea and framework to orientate my studies! It is especially great too because it builds off my previous studies of International Business. I'm really excited about the possibilities!

I also am now officially the chair of our school's Social Committee! I decided I have enough fun and organize enough parties already for my friends and I, I may as well translate that for all students to benefit! So far we've planned some great parties from Open Mic nights and summer Beach Volleyball Tournaments/BBQ's to Iron Chef food competitions and ISS Idol... a singing contest based on the American Idol model hahah... Should be great!

Now I just need really need a job so I can keep up this traveling thing! (It's unsurprisingly not nearly as easy to find a job here... I am working on it but I sure miss good 'ol craigslist!) My friend and I discovered that it is only ~230 dollars to fly to Moscow... now that would be an adventure! And with my love for Tolstoy, it would be a dream come true! I actually have a little trip planned for Scotland in February- see my good friend Simon... I arrive Friday February 13th and we already have a haunted city tour planned... Supposedly Edinburgh is the most haunted city in the Europe (or the world maybe?) Should be SPOOKY!!!! :D I also reallllly hope to make it to Washington DC in May for my best friend, Kristina's wedding! I also have tickets to one of the biggest Trance (Electronic) concerts of the year in Ultrecht this March. Armin Van Buren and Paul Van Dyk- arguably 2 of the most famous Trance DJ's in the world will be there along with many others... Holland is renowned for its electronic music, I can't wait to experience a concert with the best!!! :D So many exciting things coming up!

I must say 2009 has already started off with a renewed sense of enthusiasm for both my studies and living life in general! I cannot say how relieved/glad I am that Barak Obama is now offically in office! I know we all don't share the same viewpoint, but I think we can all agree that America certainly needs renewal/reconciliation/revivification with not just its own citizens, government and markets, but those of the greater world as well. I think he's already well on his way to instigating change in spite of the huge challenges, and I just hope all can work together to make positive effects happen! The entire feeling in the international community is changed as well, there is hope again for America (albeit cautious) but I can't tell you how great that feels!

Well, that's about it from here- I wish you all the VERY best in 2009 as well in your varied endeavors. Please keep me posted on your own lives as well! :) Thank you to each and everyone of you for the special contributions each of you have made to my life. I am so grateful for all the support and encouragement I've received along the way, but especially in the past year. I've definitely learned A LOT throughout 2008, and I hope to to be able to implement this and even further knowledge into the next year!

Have a FABULOUS, Enriching, Enjoyable 2009!

Lots of love always,
Ruth :)

**P.S. Check out the Ireland Slideshow on the right hand of the blog!!!:)**

P.P.S - I forgot to mention I'm also planning on doing my first Marathon this year! There is a big one in Amsterdam this October-- here I come! I'm doing a half marathon in March in the Hague to get me back in the groove, can't wait! :D

Slapping myself on the wrist for bad communication.....

Dear Everyone,

Wooow... I am SO sorry for neglecting this for so long. I'm sure most probably assume I've been kidnapped and/or willfully joined a gypsy tribe by now... (Un)Fortunately that hasn't occurred yet. I'm still struggling through the not-so-easily answered of International Development and World issues. I guess I'll just list some major highlights so you aren't here foreverrrr reading this!

Well the last time I wrote was in early October, since my trip to France and Spain I have done of course many readings and school work, a lot of socializing, exploring around the Hague and Amsterdam, lots of cultural sharing and fun, pretty much just enjoying European/Student life!

I've gone to a few conferences on various topics such as Palestine NGO's, the International Financial Crisis, the UN and Human rights, etc. I've heard high profile speakers from governments, the UN, ILO, various important NGO's, the World Bank, etc... lots of academics, lots of ideas, I'm still struggling to fit it all together into a coherent framework! Maybe one of these days a lightbulb will flash on and the world will make sense... probably not but i can still hope haha. In fact probably the biggest thing I've learned since studying my Masters is how little I actually know and how MANY different views and perspectives there are on different issues. It makes it difficult for an open minded person such as myself to make sense of everything... it's going to be an ongoing struggle I think haha!

In light of this struggle to make sense of things I decided to change my specialization from Poverty Studies to the International Political Economy of Development. As I learned more and questioned more, I found that "Poverty Studies" as a discipline focused more on measuring and placing policy prescriptions for the symptoms of a more deeply flawed world system. The International Political Economy of Development or (IPED) for short, deals a bit more with studying the political and economic systems that are present in our world and relations between the developed and developing world within. It's been very interesting, a bit broad, but I think I might also minor in a Civic Change focus so maybe I can make the connection between massive world systems and how the average person can affect them. Hopefully at least! We'll see what happens...

Lets see, I've done so much where to begin...
Just this past weekend my school had an International Day where students from different countries shared food and performances from their home countries. It was amazing, from a balinese choir to Eithiopian snake dances, it was awesome. My only regret is I didn't have anything for the US. I think next year my American friends and I are giong to make meatloaf, rice crispy treats and have a hip hop/breakdance performance haha.

I've found other ways to share American culture such as dressing up like a jack-o-lantern for Halloween and wearing the costume all day, even during my economics final. It would have worked out flawlessly except for the fact my "pumpkin" was in reality a large orange plastic bag I drew a jack-o-lantern face on and made a nice crinkling sound every time I moved. Haha, can't have it all I guess. I also organized a nice American potluck-style Thanksgiving, we had guacamole to Indonesian soy tempeh... delicious!

I've done a bit of traveling, various trips to Amsterdam, Ultrect, and other Dutch cities for concerts/parties/events. I went to Valencia, Spain again a few weekends ago to visit my friend Rebecca from San Diego who is studying there. It was fantastic. I think I mentioned how cold it was getting in the Hague (snow/hail/very cold rain/arctic 40 km winds) Sooo a nice break to the warm '70s sunshine of Spain was muuuuy bienvenido! We had delicious tapas, crepes, Spanish Tortillas, molten chocolate caliente, starbucks for the first time this side of the pond (slightly shameful amidst such good European café options, I know... but they had the Christmas flavors!!). It was fantastic! We saw the sights, cathedrals, nice plazas, cheap shopping... fantastico! I LOVE Spain so much!


Lets see... on the horizon the most exciting thing is coming home for Christmas! Yay! I'll be in WA/Vancouver BC over the period of 2 weeks starting on the 13th. I really wanted to get down to San Diego, but since I'm going already to 2 places and don't have a lot of time, I don't think it will happen this trip. :( Sorrry!!! Speaking of SD, I'm trying not to dwell on the weather difference... haha I would have no hope otherwise. The travel brochures to Holland all seemed to neglect the freezing/windy/wet condition of their winters... think darkness at 4:30, rain/snow/sleet and gusts of wind at right around 32 farenheight... lovelyyyy haha.. I just have to laugh/bundle up... otherwise there is no hope. It's a good thing boots and scarves are in fashion this year!! :D

Oh one more thing too-- The Dutch have a verrry strange holiday tradition here (at least from an American perspective)... Instead of Santa Claus, they have Sinter Klaus. And instead of the elves, they have "Zwarte Piet" which in English means "Black Pete". Black peet is this acrobatic troublemaker dude who has a black painted face, big red lips, and a curly black fro. He wears a brightly colored beret with a feather in it and a court jester style outfit... He is supposed to be black from climbing down the chimneys to deliver presents to the children but there are clearly some inherent North African slave references as well in the tradition... These "black petes" carry large sacks of dog-biscuit looking cookies and hand them out at train stations and supermarkets during the holiday season hahah... Very funny hahaa. I will try to post a picture so you can see what I am talking about....



Welll it's time for me to hit the hay... so that is it for now. Again I am sorry for the massive break from posting... It's really unacceptable how bad I've been at keeping in touch. I will make it my new years resolution to be more communicative! I realllly miss you all mucho and hope to see some of you NW folks very soon!!! I can't wait! Have a fantastic holiday season, and let me know how YOUR life is going!

Lots of love always,

Ruth :D

Catching up!

Hi Everyone!

I know, I know it's been way too long! Life is loco but I'm finding ways to deal with it all!

I. School-
School is insane. It has been quite the shock to get back into student mode haha. So much reeeeading, concentrating, analyzing... The first two weeks I definitely was dragging my feet/mind but I am feeling a bit better now haha. I've been immersed into question of defining what exactly is "International Development" from sociological, economic, political science, and theoretical perspectives. It is the same question many of your asked me before I left... and I attempted to describe but never quite had a firm complete answer. I now know why it was hard to define... there is no easy answer because even ideas like "progress" and "improvement" which in the West are considered to be universally positive haven't actually shown their intended effects in much of the developing world. Or the "positive" effects (as defined by the West) they have shown weren't actually the most beneficial for the people of those particular countries. It is definitely leaving me with a lot to chew on, but I am appreciating the ability to tackle these issues with people from all parts of the world and professors who encourage us to critically consider the many viewpoints of different issues.

II Dealing with School-
I've been lucky enough to have found a couple friends who surf! So on a whim last week four of us drove 15 hours down to the South of France and Spain (Biarritz and Hossigner in France, and San Sebastian Spain). It was JUST what I needed to get out of the "grad school bubble" and refresh myself... It was not only warm and sunny, but I got to speak French and Spanish and eat incredible food from fried mussels to Paella and delicious traditional Basque Country food in Spain. We also were able to partake in some incredibly delicious wine that only cost between 2-5 Euros a bottle... my kind of place! haha. It was so crazy to drive through Paris, Bordeaux, Cognac, etc knowing they were just stops along the highway... haha...
The Atlantic waters were absolutely gorgeous, turqoise and clear, and the waves were pretty decent too. Biarritz is fantastic, it is a smaller town built up from the ocean. There are castle looking buildings jutting out of the rocks before the ocean and lots of delicous little restuarants... I got to eat my favorite, crepes! Hossinger is a little surf town just south of Biarritz and we caught the end of a WCT Pro Surf competition. Not bad!!!
San Sebastian in the Basque Country of Spain blew me away! I had never even heard of it, but I'd say it rivals Barcelona in both beauty and flavor. It is much smaller, but is a cultural gem with gorgeous buildings and monuments placed directly on clear, clean ocean waters. The city is very active with cultural events from sand castle making to cinema festivals (just in the weekend we were there). The people were so friendly and welcoming, every interaction there was so positive. I saw a group of gypsys and definitely considered either dropping gradschool or perhaps at least doing my thesis research on their subversive lifestyle. (Don't worry mom and dad it was just a passing thought haha...) Gypsys intrigue me though, they are able to carry their whole lives with them and live outside of the norms of society and have done so for centuries... Even though I've been there a few times, Spain definitely has not lost lost its lustre for me... I'll be back!
Besides traveling though, I've loved the Hague- also full of cultural events.

September 21st was the UN's World Day of Peace, and we got to go to view some of the institutions here as well as see some live concerts and events. I got to go inside the World Peace Palace and see the International Court of Justice, as well as the International Criminal Court, various tribunals (such as for the former state of Yugoslavia) and the World Forum where a part of NATO is located, as well as the European Patent Office, InterPol, etc.
The beach in the Hague, Schevingen (pronounced- Scccch-rev-in-ing-ger) also hosted a huge kite festival the same weekend. So fun!

Wellll that's about it. Just trying to kick myself back into school mode while enjoying my surroundings. It's great! The weather is getting colder and windier and rainier, but i figure it'll only help me to study more haha. Hope you all are great! I miss you all very much! Have a happy October :)

Much love always,
Ruth :)

Another week in Den Haag!

Hi Everybody!

Hope you all are well in your respective corners of the world! I am continuing to love life. Everyday I feel more and more certain that this is where I am supposed to be. I am relishing the fact that I am in a group of likeminded peers, from all pockets of the world, representing 60+ countries and 200 distinct viewpoints, all concerned for making this world a better place through International Development. Amazing! There is such a respect for each other and one's distinct worldview. I feel this community is reflective of how societies were supposed to be, how we as humans are to focus our energies towards each other and the common purpose of improving our world. My head is still spinning at the fact a place like this exists, and I'm in it! :)

A good illustration could be Friday night. We had a welcome dance for all the new students in our school's atrium. They were mixing world music from Reggaeton to African to Punjabi Indian beats to the infamous macarena or "Cotton Eyed Joe" square dance song. Sooo cool, it reminded me of my itunes playlist (minus the macarena and square dancing of course) haha! Roughly 200 people from all over- Pakistani, Ethiopian, Nicaraguan, Sri Lankan, Italian were all completely living it up shaking it, showing off their unique dancing talents and skills... I had SO much fun. Now THAT is how we should work out world conflicts, not shows of arms but dance offs! My personal highlight was when they played the "Cotton eyed Joe" song, I took it as my American liberty to show a little doe-si-doe or whatever it is called as you "swing your parter round and round"... I'd say by the end of the song I had about 80% of the dance floor doing it... go USA haha!

Outside of the dancing and introductory orientation duties I've been really enjoying meeting new friends, exploring the Hague, absorbing my new home. I feel like Europe is SO refreshing. From the non-chemically altered food, delicious beer options, to the walking lifestyle, cafe culture, elegant but enduring classical architecture, to the educated but openminded people... I really feel like they've captured so much of what it means to truly LIVE not just survive or gain more for yourself.

For the first time I've realized that in the United States we are commercially oppressed. On billboards, radio ads, street signs, public decorations, architecture, all media, schools, restaurants, churches... it is nay to impossible to evade the logos, the advertisements, the sense of "buy buy buy, you neeeeed this, your life is so much better with that". You don't even notice it while being there, but after being in a place where buildings are buildings, restaurants are primarily locally owned, the few public posters you see are advertising concerts or community events you realize... Hmmm perhaps we've seriously lost control of our lives. I do consider it an oppression! When it comes to the point that it's normal to be screamed at, to be constantly demanded of, maybe, just maybe, there is a different, better way. (*Of course there is some commercial influence here, and I am relatively sheltered from it w/o a TV or radio, but the difference in the rest of my daily life is so significant- it's like night and day!)

Anyways, that is about it from Den Haag! This week our school is going to "Zaanse Schans" a traditional old Dutch village with working windmills, cheese factories, wooden shoes and the rest! Afterwards we'll do a boat tour in Amsterdam. Then school starts... but I am quite excited for that as well. I'll give you all the details soon!

Have a great new week! Also, 1 month from today, October 7th (also Becky's 26th bday, happy bday sissy!) is the World Day for Decent Work (http://www.wddw.org/-About-the-day-). I came across it when doing some research for possible Thesis topics. Apparently there is a relatively new worldwide campaign for "Decent Work", basically a push for a globalization that respects the basic human dignities of fairness in employment, rights at work, solidarity, and job creation as a tool to combat poverty, etc. October 7th is a day to get the word out! Check it out!

Love, Peace & Unity!
Ruth :)

Livin la Viiida!!!

So I just got back from the grocery store... spent another 23 euros... I've been spending those like they're going out of style... oh well at least now i have some spices to work with... i was definitely lacking there for a while!! Tonight I sauteed carrots, spinach, onions, garlic and drenched it in pepper and then put in milk and breadcrumbs to try to thicken it up to make it like a cream sauce.... it was more like a peppery milk soup with soaked bread crumbs... Thus the need for some proper cooking ingredients. I may be pov line but I have my decency haha!

Today we had an introduction to the school and particularly my specialization. In the school itself there are 200 students in 17 different International Development specializations. We represent 60+ different countries, and so far I've only met 1 other American. It is amazing to run into a person from Thailand and ask them first hand about the breaking unrest that's just been front page news, or from Georgia about the reality behind it's conflict with Russia. I am seriously in heaven. Cannot believe it!!!

As far as my specialization goes, we had a meeting with all the students and overseeing profs. The professors are amazing, a couple of them have taught at the London School of Economics, each have an expansive command of experience and credentials. The two head profs are from India and the others are European (but have lived all over the world). I am so excited to start learning! My program is Poverty Studies and Policy Analysis, basically we approach poverty from a multidisciplinary perspective, researching the whys and hows of its existence and subsequently analyzing the ways and hows to fix it! It's going to be a challenge, but I couldn't think of a better suited subject to dedicate myself to!!!

Equally impressive are my classmates in my specialization ... I'm the only person from the Americas except for an Ecuadorian guy. There are others from Africa (Zimbabwe, Zambia, and Ghana), Sri Lanka, Indonesia, India, and Thailand! We are 11 total (3 of us Women). It's more than amazing to have such diverse viewpoints represented from the students alone! Each have some pretty impressive backgrounds. Many work for their own country's government, but there are others from the World Bank, to other NGOs. I guess most students will return to their job after their degree, this is just to boost their knowledge and bring some fresh resources to their governments or organizations. I am seriously among such incredible company. Each person I talk to have these dream jobs and actually liiiive doing the work I'm passionate about. We can just chat informally firsthand about topics I get excited reading about...much less interact day to day... I just am slightly dumbfounded this is really possible... I cannot believe it! :D I am so happy I chose this school!

I am nervous for school a little bit it should be very very difficult. Apparently the average grade is a C and they like to keep it that way... I''m going to do my best though and see what happens! I'm up for the challenge. If that is the main thing I'm focusing on I think I will have a lot of energy for the task. I am still getting used to actually having free time. The past year and a half working two jobs on top of my busy social/family/volunteering/working out/traveling life left little time for anything else... I think this will be a nice opportunity to still work hard but just focus on my improving my mind and enjoying life on the side (and only get a job if absolutely necessary!). I'm stoked to see what wonderful things lie ahead!!!

Hope every one is doing great, thanks for all the great comments! And don't forget to vote about your favorite dutch invention on the right side of my blog... I'm curious to see which will win ;). Take care!!!

With lots of love and EXCITEMENT!!!
Ruth :D

My new Home!

Hey Everyone!!!

The Move-
I made it!! After about 2 flights, 30 hours of not sleeping, dragging approximately 170 pounds of luggage on my person, and navigating the Dutch public transport system, here I was! Upon arriving at my school at around noon on Thursday I got my keys to my new apartment and was settled in by that evening. My apartment is spacious with big windows, a tiny bed, lots of storage and a bathroom/shower combo (the shower is just part of the bathroom floor- it's not separated off like we have in the US). After putting everything away I couldn't believe the seemingly small amount of stuff I brought felt so heavy. In anycase sleep never felt so good haha.

The Weekend-
My good friend Simon came down from the UK and we had a blast! Friday we went spent the day in Amsterdam- Van Gogh museum, sandwiches from an amazing little cafe, a few lattes, a few Heinekens, lots of canals, lots of bikes, lots of history. Saturday we went to Schiveningen, Holland’s most famous beach. I was not expecting to find a gem like this 10 minutes from my house! Notice the pics in my slideshow- there were people as far as I could see with the backdrop of gorgeous centuries old palatial buildings, miles of little beach side restaurant/lounges with live DJs mixing and drinks and food flowing. It is amazing!! Later that day we went to a live festival playing a variety of rock music. It was in the Hague’s version of “central park” with thousands of people attending, sooo cool!

The Dutch-
As we were exploring the cities I was trying to put my finger on the question, "What exactly is "Dutch"? Quite of few European cities I've been to emanate with distinct flavours. Places like Dublin, Paris, Barcelona, Roma, Istanbul, Zurich... each left me with an uniquely individual impression. Each develops a snapshot in my mind, the unique smearing of architecture, smells, sounds, tastes, people... the energy that emits, the feelings that engulf you as you walk along the streets and consider what’s around you. With Amsterdam, I couldn’t as easily define it. Perhaps it’s because Holland itself is such a melding of cultures that its identity is naturally a mix of cultures and styles. Perhaps because I haven’t grown up with a “Dutch stereotype”. Whatever the case, Holland definitely feels very European, nice people, delicious food, great fashion, comprehensive public transport, gorgeous old buildings, men without deodorant... Things I find distintly dutch though? See below:

Ruth’s top 9 distinctly dutch vibes…
1. Canals, everywhere! People use them as transportation, boats in the summer, ice skating in the winter.
2. The language- very strange, incomprehensible mix of German, French, English and maybe some Scandinavian
3. “Coffeeshops” The legalization of Ganja
4. Compact, houses, streets, cars, stores… they can pack it in w/o feeling cramped though
5. Bikes bikes bikes, from businessmen in suits to ladies in fancy dresses… it is the people’s transportation
6. Flatness- no hills, whatsoever… makes #5 much more enjoyable!
7. Classic European architecture, but the Dutch-touch would be large windows, small bricks, some buildings lean in towards the street and have a hook on the top story to shimmy furniture up through the windows :)
8. Warm people, not obnoxiously extroverted but kind and straightforward- me gusta!
9. Tall people- who look like me! I finally fit in!

Feelings Since being here-
I think because I've travelled so much and have been in so many transitions the last couple years, the fact I've just moved doesn’t feel that strange. The fact that I just packed up my life and alone trekked it half way around the world doesn’t really phase me! Kinda weird, I know lol… After talking to my bro though, I think I’ve figured it out. More often than not my travels take me to developing countries- Latin America, China, Indonesia… beyond the cultural differences, the standard of living is so much different. This standard of living is what the US is derived from, I’m just going home! I just feel like I'm at a new apartment in another city.

My view of the world and what country/region is "home" has become kind of a state of flux. Of course my home home will always be Washington and San Diego as a second, but I've become used to traipsing around and being flexible enough to embrace my surroundings in each stage of life. I guess the major difference between this and my former adventures is that I’ll be here for 1.5 years. It works though! I’m excited and very happy to be here, it feels good, it feels right! I do miss the people and life back home but I’m excited to be on my own, challenging myself and hopefully developing some critical skills that will help me in the future. I’ll keep you all updated! Happy September!

Lots o’ love,
Ruth :)

Last minute ponderings...

Welllllll my bags are (mostly) packed, I’m frantically tying up the loose ends that inevitably appear when one moves across the world, and feel… well like I’m about to jump off a cliff. I’m slightly unsure, speculative of the intimidating waters below, hesitantly edging myself towards the thrill that’s about to arise as I lift my feet of the land I’ve been planted on and jump, fly, splash into a new entirely different reality.

Will I make it? Did I arrange all the details correctly for an overseas transplant? Can I hack it with people far more experienced and educated than I? Am I cut out for Masters level work, especially in a new country with different educational traditions than I am accustomed to? Will I like the country, the people? Will I let the weather depress or invigorate me? Is my unique very American seattle-meets-san-diego-earthy-but-cosmopolitan-travelling-surfer-runner-sometimes goofy-girly-but-trying-to-remain-professional-laidback-yet-motivated persona going to scare people or somehow diminish what I have to say?

To be honest, I’m not really sure what I’m getting myself into. I wish I could say I was at peace, feeling the inner zen as I embark on the next wave of life, but I’m not there yet. I’ve never felt nervous about a trip before but I’m freaking out a little bit on the inside. Before China, Costa Rica, Australia, Indonesia and even conflict ridden Guatemala or East Timor I slept soundly and dreamt the wacky dreams I only have before exiting adventures. This time around, I can’t sleep at night, I can’t get past the murky uncertainty of what’s before me.

I guess I just have more at stake and know less of what to expect. This isn’t a semester abroad with people from my culture with debriefings and group processing times. No I'm going in blind to a very professionaly and academically qualified, intercultural, international... intimidating group. I know I will love it but I'm a little scared. Scared that I'll diminish my own abilities, scared that I'll be in over my head, scared that I don't know where this step is going to take me. It’s a gamble, with the highest stakes I’ve ever put out. My objective is to strengthen my knowledge, world view, and influence to impact the world for good. To pursue social justice, freedom from suffering, hope and opportunity for those oppressed due to no fault of their own. If I can somehow manage to do that while learning about myself and embracing those around me, I think I'll be feeling alright. I just gotta take it one step at a time...

If I’ve learned anything from my time in San Diego, it’s that life is a process of finding yourself, and even if you don’t exactly know who that person is, you do know some things about yourself- things that ring true and deeply resonate in your being as the best way to act and live your life. Pursue those things and don’t let anybody tell you you’re wrong or stupid, or not “cool” for doing them. Don’t change yourself to fit a mold or a cookie-cutter look or personality… popular definitions fade with each second passing. It’s a fruitless, empty endeavor to try to look or act as anything you aren’t. Especially since most (at least US) "popular ideals" are completely based in superfluous, selfish, mindless, empty fluff. Humanity is a rainbow of beautiful cultures and shining personalities, practical skills and deep, abiding strengths. Seek that which resonates with you and celebrate it! The childhood mantra, “be yourself” holds deep value. I've come to believe the people who are most satisfied and successful in life are those who call a spade a spade, who follow through with what they say, and respect and embrace their own journeys while genuninely supporting, empowering, and encouraging those of others. As I continue to figure myself out, I hope and pray to bear these truths in mind and never stop opening myself to learning and embracing even greater and more powerful lessons.

Well I must sleep now. I’m hoping I will have a wacky dream. Something like me leaping off a 30 foot cliff with my favorite surfboard into a clear glassy turquoise rolling point break with giant jade sea turtles swimming below and the people I love splashing around, bathed in bright beams of sunlight with a jungle of monkey friends rooting for us on the shore. :)


"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." Teddy Roosevelt

"Justice consists not in being neutral between right and wrong, but in finding out the right and upholding it, wherever found, against the wrong." Teddy Roosevelt

"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." Eleanor Roosevelt

“What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson